Apostle Stephanie Ike Okafor once said, loosely quoting, “There are people you haven’t truly met because they haven’t met God.”
Think about that for a moment. We walk among friends, family, and colleagues, and because we see the rawness of their humanity, we sometimes reduce them to their flaws. “Oh, she’s always moody.” “There goes the angry one.” “They’ve been depressed for so long; I don’t think they’ll ever get better.” Perhaps the same is true for ourselves. Many of us wrestle with the wrong image, the wrong likeness. Somewhere along the line, we forgot that we were made in the image of a perfect God.
When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon in Judges 6:12, he addressed him as a man of valor, even though Gideon saw himself as the least in his family and a member of the weakest clan. Yet the Lord never addressed him according to his flaws. Instead, God addressed him according to who he was originally created to be. The question we should ask is: where did Gideon get such a fractured view of himself?
Without God, what was meant to be whole—spirit, mind, body, and soul—can splinter, especially in a world where everyone is “living their truth” and wearing harmful behaviors proudly, like ornaments around their necks. Even trauma, in all its weighty shapes and forms, can cut deeply like broken glass, wounding everything and everyone in its path. Through this brokenness, traits that are not of God gain ground, slowly corrupting the narrative of who we were truly meant to be. But the Lord is calling us to come up higher, to arise from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept us, and to rise into new life (Isaiah 60:1, AMPC).
What that means is this: stop explaining harmful behaviors away by hiding behind labels. If you are a child of God who has received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, you must understand God’s nature, especially His call to put off the old self and put on the nature of Christ. No more accepting that this is just the way you are.
Colossians 3 calls us to rid ourselves of anger, rage, malice, slander, lies, and filthy language. It invites us instead to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. We are called to bear with one another and forgive when grievances arise, not as a duty, but as a reflection of God’s own heart. To rid yourself means more than simply trying to change. It is the intentional removal of anything from your life, including thoughts, habits, or behaviors that are harmful, ungodly, or contrary to God’s design. This leads us to our main conversation.
Galatians 5:22–23 tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
We use the language of the fruit every day: “I love you,” “I’m trying to be patient,” “I was gentle in my approach.” But if it were that easy, if it were that ordinary, it would have been called the fruits of humanity. For these to be called the fruit of the Spirit of God, they carry something far deeper and weightier than mere morality or ethics. As we explore how the Holy Spirit works to plant these fruits in our hearts, I urge you to prepare your heart to be fertile soil. Invite Him to water and nurture you so that His image and likeness can shine through your life.
In John 14:25–26, Jesus tells His disciples, “These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”
Here we see that the Holy Spirit is both a helper and a teacher, bringing to the forefront of our memory everything Jesus has spoken. The Holy Spirit guides us in salvation, intercedes on our behalf, convicts us of truth, and offers direction. John 14:17 tells us that if we believe in Jesus, the Holy Spirit is with us and in us. There are many ways to describe the Holy Spirit, but here we focus on His work in shaping our character. Without His help, we face inherent limitations in expressing who we are. These were inbuilt by the Manufacturer, like a fail-safe designed to always bring us back to God. The Creator placed these restrictions because we were never meant to exist apart from our Source or to honor the creation above the Creator.
Apostle Stephanie Ike Okafor teaches that when the Spirit of God comes upon a person, He takes them beyond their natural inclinations. You begin to desire what He desires for you. He reveals both your strengths and your weaknesses. He is the one who does the work within you, as long as you are willing to partner with Him. He meets you in the depths of your mess, yet He does not leave you there, because He cannot lower His standards. He desires for you to host Him so He can beautify the place of His dwelling. If the Holy Spirit lives in you, you cannot help but reflect His nature—you are drawn to love, joy, patience, gentleness, and to self-control. His righteousness produces right standing within you, shaping your life from the inside out.
I grew up angry, passive aggressive, and deeply melancholic. To some extent, this was shaped by my environment. But there comes a point when responsibility shifts, when you are no longer merely shaped by your surroundings and you become the environment. In order to be transformed, I allowed the word of God come alive in me. I entered a season of daily spiritual refinement. Many of us know what it means to be passed through the fire. It feels unreal. It can feel like rejection rather than love. Yet God’s love is not birthed from comfort.
The weight of that love carries a pain only those who have been pruned can understand. There was a constant war as my humanity fought for governance, yet obedience consistently led me toward freedom. I learned to extend myself grace when I fell short. I received wisdom from those spiritually ahead of me and accepted prayer from those walking alongside me. But above all, transformation required personal resolve. No one desired my freedom more than I did. Freedom in Christ is not paved with good intentions alone. When you grow tired of what binds you, you will break its hold. Freedom begins the moment captivity is no longer acceptable. That is below God’s standard of living for you.
When Jesus cast the legion of demons out of the man in Gadara, the Bible tells us he was later found seated at the feet of Jesus, clothed, and in his right mind (Mark 5:15). Freedom comes at the cost of remaining with God. The Holy Spirit does not specialize in partial obedience or selective growth. If there is any part of your life where He is not Lord, then He is not Lord of all. But when you yield to Him, His discipleship touches every area of your life, producing complete transformation. The moment you say yes to the Holy Spirit, you win the war. And that victory does not stand alone; it creates a ripple effect across every area of your character. The more the flesh is weakened, the less authority it has. The compulsion to hate begins to fade, malice loosens its grip, and the appetite to steal, lie, cheat, or wound others gradually dies.
Saying, “I will try to stop being angry,” is not the same as saying, “I will yield to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to transform me.” Yielding does not mean the absence of anger; it means you can feel anger without sinning. It means bringing the matter to Him, pondering it with Him, refusing to transfer that aggression onto others, and choosing not to carry the weight of offense longer than He permits. Trying is manual; yielding is supernatural. As long as you rely on your own strength, the work remains human. The moment you yield, it becomes divine. That the Lord is a good Shepherd is evidence that even in shaping your character, He leads you in paths that are right.
The enemy often relies on three strategies: convincing us that our problems are permanent, magnifying our struggles until they become idols, and keeping us from seeking God’s Word for the solution. But the Holy Spirit teaches us that Christ has set us free. So what once ruled us no longer has dominion over us.
Galatians 5:1 opens with this powerful declaration: “Christ has set us free! This means we are really free. Now hold on to your freedom and don’t ever become slaves of the law again.”
This speaks to the finished work of Christ. Whatever struggles you face—especially those tied to character—the work has already been done. You may still face those battles, but that does not negate your freedom; it has already been given. Because we belong to Christ, our selfish desires have been crucified with Him. In their place, the Holy Spirit gives us a better way to live—a life marked by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. So partner with the Holy Spirit. If He reveals who you are—even if you don’t like it—believe Him and accept it. That is the true measure of a surrendered heart.
Take these words to heart and begin to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal areas of your character that are not fully aligned with Him. Allow Him to begin the work of transformation through His power, the discipline of conformity, and the law of substitution—removing the enemy’s strongholds and replacing them with what Christ provides. He replaces sadness with joy, anger with self-control, fear with faith, and bondage with the freedom secured by the blood of Jesus.
Apostle Stephanie Ike Okafor once said, “There are people you haven’t truly met because they haven’t met God.” The next time someone meets you, will they see in your character that you have truly met with God?
Shalom.
