By Ayamba.
ACCEPTANCE.
No need to break my heart,
No need to use your words to tear me apart.
No need to peel my skin until I become unrecognizable.
We don’t have to let it get ugly.
I can see your attraction has waned.
I am no longer your favorite girl.
You look at me as if I were a stranger,
As if the past few weeks have been a total disaster.
We are misplaced, almost like we’ve never been on the same page.
So, I have packed my bags without you having to twist my hand.
But if this is goodbye,
Kiss me one last time.
Pour every second, every minute, every hour, every week spent
Into the slanting of your lips against mine.
Let the hands that wrap around me
Show me that I may have lost a lover in you
But I’ll always have a friend.
Give me this.
Give me closure.
YOUR WISH.
I forget you every single day.
The more you stay away, the more the memories fade.
Soon, I’ll have nothing to remember you by.
Even your name won’t ring a bell.
But it’s what you’ve always wanted, for us to forget each other.
Even now, I am still honoring your wishes.
MOVING ON.
I don’t want you back.
What am I going to do with you now that the feelings are no longer there?
I wanted to continue— not start from scratch.
They’ve been others after you,
Others who have shifted the echo of you so far behind.
You’ll never be able to catch up.
It’s simple – I moved on since we’ve been apart.
SHEPHERD’S TREE.
On an insignificant day, you texted me. The sky wasn’t particularly blue, and the sun wasn’t mercilessly beating my skin. I looked at the text, my eyes roaming carefully over the words. At one point in my life, you were significant to me. You were aware of that fact. No love felt was ever hidden from view.
You desired a response. No one had felt like home since me. You hoped that time had dampened the blow of you erasing me from our shared history. You wondered if you still affected my senses. If the mere thought of you still had me writing poetry, my pencil stroking against the paper, constantly thinking of things to say to you.
Yes, there were times when I broke my pencil in two — in a frantic search for words to say if I ever got the chance to see you again.
Words like: “I fell for a deeply flawed human. Being with you was like playing with matches. We both enjoyed the thrill, until one day, you burned me. It was my fault as much as it was yours. Maybe there was a time when your words would have been my undoing. Unzipped me until I was standing naked, begging you to love me, just love me.
Not this time.
I am too rooted in myself to ever be mistaken for a leaf. I have become a Shepherd tree. But you’re aware of this. You’ve sensed my growth; that’s why you’re here, trying to harvest a seed you did not plant; from a field you abandoned.”
But in truth, no words could ever accurately convey my indifference towards you. It leaves me breathless knowing that there was a time when I desired you above my sanity. Now, there’s nothing here for you, and you have nothing that I could ever want.
I never responded to that text.
My silence was the answer your icy heart needed to hear.
A FULL LIFE.
You said it excited you to be with me.
So it shocked me when you left
Because I thought someone else had taken my place.
I searched for you and her all over town,
But you were nowhere to be found.
Then, one day, I saw you with your friends.
You were painting the city red.
You had a picture of contentment plastered on your face.
I wondered how you could be so happy without me.
Soon, I realized that you found excitement anywhere you could find it.
In places, in people, and yourself.
You don’t have to be loved by another to feel loved.
You didn’t belong to anyone,
You belonged to yourself.
DID YOU KNOW?
Did you know before you broke my heart
That you were going to do it?
How long were you planning it?
Because I never saw the signs;
I always thought we were on par.
It’s funny how intertwined hearts work.
Sometimes, one wants to let go,
And the other wants to hold on.
Until the other decides to walk away,
Taking both hearts in the process.
In your leaving,
You took all of me along with you.
STILL YOU.
I saved your picture on my phone,
And every time I needed to share a secret with someone
I told you.
My friends said perhaps this was the beginning of insanity.
And that may be true,
But I am still not used to talking to anyone else but you.
ASUNDER.
Of all the men who have entered my life,
You’ve been the one I wished with all my heart would stay.
And the only one who cut me asunder when he walked away.
I miss you
I do.
I want you back.
I really do.
But if leaving is what’s best for you.
Just as I gave you my heart,
I’ll give you my goodbye, too.
UNTEACHABLE.
All the heartache waiting for me in the future,
You’ve given it to me today as a present.
Now, I think life has nothing left to teach me.
GREATEST ACTOR OF ALL TIME.
Every time I called you mine
Your eyes would light up,
Brighter than the surface of the sun.
But in your heart, you knew you were just playing a part
In what would turn out to be the worst movie of my life.
If I were to give you an award,
It’ll be the greatest actor of all time.
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Pictures retrieved from Pinterest.
