Your thighs and your eyes. Your lips and that ass. Your nose and your toes. And all the other parts of your body that makes you a whole meal. You say you’re a snack, you’re fine like red wine, but when the world isn’t looking, you’re dying a little inside? What gives man? Why the facade?
It’s complicated, I know. The world doesn’t understand, and sometimes you don’t understand why you look the way you do. I don’t have an answer for you. I’m sure whatever motivational speech I try to conjure up would be met with criticism and doubt. The criticism may come from you but the doubt is all mine. Because I wonder too; why am I only 5 feet 2 inches? Why do my legs look weird? I like my nose and my lips when I smile, only because I’ve been told it’s beautiful. Other than that, every other part of my body is under a microscope as I pick myself apart over and over again for being just the way God made me.
So, I may not get it, but since body issues are subjective I think we are all in the same boat, paddling to the deeper end of the ocean. You know, I feel really good about the fact that objectivity doesn’t play an actual role in the way we view ourselves. There is no standard fact on this earth on how a person should look. It’s all based on the opinions of others and of yourself. Yourself–being the only opinion that actually counts. So, make your opinion count for something other than self loathing. Let’s leave the world out of this for now, forget social media, forget the bullies, and forget the labels. This. Is. About. You.
If you do not have an issue with your body, this one isn’t for you. We only need people here who understand what it feels like to want to cover all the mirrors in their rooms to avoid seeing their reflections. People who wear baggy clothes not because it’s their style of choice but because they are not proud of their bodies. People who refuse to smile because they are too self conscious. Every effort towards the light ends up in a crash landing and you’re back to hiding in the dark.
Someone once said: Ayamba you don’t get it, you’re beautiful, you can’t possibly have body issues. As if they are in my head, as if they’ve lived in my body for 24 years, as if they know me more than I know myself. But I can’t possibly blame them for trying to decide how I should feel about myself because I have done that before, too. I have looked at beautiful men and women and said, they couldn’t possibly have body issues looking the way they do — inadvertently making them into this goal of what a body should look like.
I’ve been asked a couple of times about my stance on plastic surgery. For a while, I didn’t have a definite answer. But these quotes have been my guiding light, leading me to the inevitability of my own conclusion:
When you’re alone all by yourself, and you’re lying in your bed; reflection stares right into you, are you happy with yourself? You’ve stripped away the masquerade and the illusion has been shed are you happy with yourself? Perfection is the disease of a nation; you try to fix something but you can’t fix what you can’t see — it’s the soul that needs a surgery- Beyonce and Sia.
You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful ― Amy Bloom
The human body is the best work of art ― Jess C. Scott
And most importantly;
To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself ― Simone de Beauvoir
I realize the answer is not that simple. With all the quotes in the world, if you don’t see yourself, really see yourself the way you are — an inexplicable piece of creation, with no wrong edges, and just the perfect size, you’ll always lose sight of who you are. Plastic surgery may fix the outside, but what happens on the inside? What are you going to do to fix the inside? Who takes care of the spirit, the mind, the soul, and the heart? I guess, it’s not the outside that matters, it’s the inside that is paramount.
Love yourself, from the inside and it’ll show on the outside. One day of conscious self adoration doesn’t fix years of self loathing so you’re gonna have to do it every single day. But say you love yourself, just for today. Do not expect too much from yourself, you’re only human. And if there is one thing I am certain of, it is that: No Human Being Is Perfect.
Let that sink in.