Chapter 24.

Where do I even begin?

My skin is glowing, my smile is still as sexy as ever, I think I grew an extra inch and God is still a good God. If anyone told me I would be at peace at this stage in my life, it would have been taken as an expensive joke. Yet here we are, still dancing, crying, loving, breathing, living and laughing.

If you know me, you know I like to worry and I like to think too much. I am sometimes way too serious for my own good and I take life so literally. Which in all honesty has kept me safe and protected but it has also kept me caged and some what in the dark. This past year, Ayamba has grown up a lot. I have never been more at peace with the woman that I am and I truly believe I am someone very special. So, I walk in the consciousness of that, careful never to let my crown fall because you know…. QUEEN SHIT!!

I am thankful to GOD, my family and my greatest friends who have grown with me and loved me despite my flaws (which are tremendous). I am thankful for the great love I have experienced with the unique men I have encountered along way (you all know who you are, shout out to each and everyone you for trying me). Above all, I am grateful that through the roughest times, the darkest hours and days when I thought I couldn’t go on, somehow, I found the courage to keep swimming. Like my big brother will always say, “face front, that is where God is”

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I am going to end with this piece I wrote because it got me thinking about what path I want to be on for the next 365 days. So, enjoy guys! and know that whatever happens tomorrow, we had today and it was as magical as they come. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!

WHAT IF? by Amba

What if I exchanged love for pleasure ? 

what if instead of seeking love I went after something more primal,

a higher form of ecstasy? 

what if it touched my body in ways I could never imagine but I never let it touch my soul? 

what if I walked this earth never fully being complete? 

never fully feeling complete? 

never feeling full? 

who would I be then?

where would it lead me to? 

do I even want to know? 

Or do I keep following this path, living with my heart on my sleeves…

for someone once said, it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I guess I choose love,

I guess I’ll always choose love. 

It may not always conquer all but it gives meaning to this thing called life.




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