I dreamt of you today.

I dreamt of you today
I woke up slowly screaming your name.
My cheeks wet with tears,
my fingers trembling, almost too white from gripping the sheets too tight.
This is the first time in years you’ve woken me up so violently.
Bemused I sat up, the one who took you away said nightmares do not reside where you are.
I hope you’re okay
you know I can’t save you even if I tried.

4am blinked on the nightstand,
forcing me out of my trance.
There was no way I could go back to sleep; my lids were heavy with dread.
I got up from the bed and walked silently down the stairs
careful not to wake the man lying next to me.
I opened the double doors and was welcomed by the snow.
You know how much I love the cold air, so you sent it to come and comfort me.
Even after all this time, you still knew me so well.

How can my heart be in two places at once, waging a lovers spat against itself.
A piece of me still lives at the park where we first met
the other piece resides with the man who sat with me on our favorite bench
watching in silence as the color drained from my face, because the thought of never seeing your face again crippled me.
He patiently nursed me back to the woman I was when I first saw you.
Now, he sleeps upstairs peacefully in my bed, our bed.
Somedays I wonder how you’d feel about that
you were never one to share.

I felt the warmth of a blanket against my bare skin
The man upstairs sat next to me and asked me to place my head on his shoulder.
He knows I still think of you, but he isn’t the jealous type.
I got lucky you know, or is your soul in a different body?

He sat with me quietly, his lips turning blue
when I was ready to speak,
I turned to him with sad eyes & said
I dreamt of you today.

By @hersoulwrites on Instagram

Picture from Pinterest.

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