Let’s protest against the patriarchy; we own our bodies, and they can’t tell us when, how, and with whom to fornicate!
While we are riding on the high horse of the right to choose, we need to understand that for something to be socially constructed, it is not founded on objectivity. It is a subjective reality created by human interaction. In this day and age, Virginity just like everything else is fluid and exists on a spectrum. A virgin is anyone who has not experienced the joys of having “the sex” or like I love to call it, “the sexual intercourse.” For a long time, virginity has always been shared between a man and a woman. But the world as has evolved. Society has worked steadfastly to make sure that heterosexuality is just a piece of the puzzle, not all of it. Virginity is no longer exclusively heteronormative.
For Christians, there are no gray areas when it comes to virginity. 1st Corinthians 7 says, “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation of sexual immorality, each man should have his wife and each woman her husband.” Exodus 22: 16 says, “If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride price to her and make her his wife.” This means there’s a value attached to a woman being a virgin. Value is something that has worth, is useful, and has high importance. The bible talks about the word “purity” which the new generation despises because on the opposite side of purity is the word “dirty.” In certain parts of the world, it is ingrained in women that virginity is tied to their worth. And when you know how much you are worth, you don’t offer discounts.
Our bodies were designed to give us pleasure. And one of the ways to reproduce is by having sex, which means intercourse is natural. Why should something as natural as that be dictated by society? It is not a collective gift. The ability to have “the sex,” was given to us individually, and should be treated as such. It is your body and it is your choice. Chalk it up to basic human rights. It should not be sexist, it should not be about slut-shaming, or about passing judgment. Parents and guardians need to start educating their children about sex and the pressures they may encounter from peers to fit into the “societal construct.” Knowledge has always been power. If the younger generation is not properly educated about sex and sexuality, then they are most likely to get the short end of a very painful stick. Our bodies are very special gifts. The decision as to when, where, or whom to share that body with should not be taken lightly. It should not be like getting rid of a stigma or scratching an itch.
On the other hand, at least 10 million unintended pregnancies occur each year among adolescent girls aged 15–19 years in the developing world. Also, Statistics for 2019 from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that STD rates in the United States are super high. Early data from 2020 suggest that these trends are continuing. To add to these awful statistics, my heart goes out to those who have been pressured into losing their virginity, be it through sexual assault, rape, or the sheer necessity to fit in. It also goes out to women who have been forced to undergo female genital mutilation as an archaic means to curb sexual interest and promiscuity. When you look at the terrible acts associated with giving and receiving sexual pleasures, it’s no wonder people see it as a gift and attach great emotional value to it.
Virgins are not conquests. If we think this way, we feed into a false narrative that seeks to objectify people. What is worse is how explicitly the media has fed into the theme of instant gratification and sexual objectification. There’s pornography everywhere we turn, and naked or half-dressed people constantly on our screens. The media takes something as intimate as a sexual experience and blurs the lines. So much so that people just want to “get it over with” for the first time. The world is one big over-sexualized orbit that rotates to constantly bite us in the arse. When people decide to wait till marriage because they consider the act of sex sacred, they are sometimes called prudes or shamed for it. As if to say if you have not had sex, you are a half-baked human being.
There’s so much information on virginity and how it relates to religion, culture, and tradition in today’s society. If you choose to not have sexual relations until marriage, it in no way ridicules others because they choose to explore their choices. Name-calling on any moral ground or any spectrum you find yourself is disallowed and disavowed. Our bodies are temples. Healthy sex life can be choosing abstinence or making sure that you are protected when engaging in sexual acts. Experiencing sexual intercourse for the first time is not be the “be-all” of your life, but it should be a special experience. It should not be like ripping off a bandaid. It’s an act you’ll remember for the rest of your life. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, do not let society dictate what you do with your body. It is your right to choose and you are not a construct, you are a human being. So, you decide.
Follow @ayamba.theblog on Instagram for more updates.