Nothing like that.

These words I write are not my own
All the stories still left untold
The secrets I think I’ll rather not know
Even as I write with hands stricken with grief
Paralyzed by a fear that I might die alone
And be buried by people I barely know
Still I turn despair into laughter as I sit with strangers
Gossiping about people who never did me wrong
While I wait patiently for when the time is right
To excuse myself from this depressing crowd
Because my misery hates this unwelcomed company
Behind my shrewdness and callousness
There’s thin frail of hope, I know is there
That’s how I know
I am not sick or lost or nothing like that
I just hate life and its many lies
These glass frames are too dark to see people for who they really are
I might join them to count the stars
Or watch the sun set
But in my heart I know they all hate each other
I wait for the moment when my eyes tire
And begin to close from a burning exhaustion
Because I cried for those I loved and lost
And those who I don’t really care that they are gone
I am not sick or lost or nothing like that
But child, I’ll rather you thought I was
So I may walk normally among the crowd of people
Dancing to Selena
And I dance along for what is there in life
Than to live and die when the time is right


– Ayamba



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One thought on Nothing like that.

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