1. A Little Crush.
Whenever I’ve got a crush I warn my heart not to embarrass me.
I tell the silly organ to play nice and sit still.
But the damn thing jumps, leaps, runs, cries, hums.
It has the audacity to spread its frivolity to my stomach;
Now I have butterflies everywhere.
I’ve tried to ignore it, but the heart wants what it wants.
-Amba
2. Illusion.
What if this was all a bad dream;
What if we were all having a collective nightmare;
And the only way to wake up is by raising our hands to the heavens;
Where the air circulates;
Where the atmosphere takes shape;
Where the greatest of the greats reside;
And swear to be accountable, responsible, and fair.
Who am I kidding, the ones with reprobate minds have left the group.
-Amba
3. Brain on Fire.
I worry that my mind over analyzes situations that should just be what they are.
Sometimes, if I listen closely I can hear it sighing from the strain
Of having to be buried in the depths of my thoughts.
I don’t give my mind enough credit.
So today, I’ll let it take a break.
Just for today, I’ll leave well enough alone.
-Amba
4. The Cardinal.
If you have ever felt the pain of feeling inconsequential, you’ll never wish that on anyone.
Before your actions destroy someone else’s spirit, wear the shoes, and see how it fits.
-Amba
5. Oh, To Be Content.
I looked into the coffee cup and saw myself floating.
I saw the scars between my brows from a time when my legs were too weak to hold me up.
I saw the twinkle in my eyes because scars no longer scare me.
I saw the smile on my face because I added a bit too much cream.
I took a sip of my creamy coffee;
Knowing today I am content and I am complete.
-Amba
6. Simple Desires.
I desire to live on a filed that’s by a lake,
It would have a little house in the center with lanterns and fireflies.
I picture a wooden table and a wooden chair on the patio,
With a journal where I can write to my heart’s content.
Oh, there should be oranges everywhere,
And the sky should bleed beautifully continuously.
I desire handwritten letters from a soul that’s entwined with mine,
And children that will be nursed at my side.
Is that too much to ask?
-Amba
7. Extraordinary Stranger.
I met a stranger on a regular day and sensed the familiarity of his spirit.
Like before we were humans, we were friends—perhaps even lovers in another life.
I thought to myself, this is the chemistry people talk about.
I knew if I was brave enough to let this stranger in, my life would be anything but ordinary.
-Amba
8. Apprehension.
Somedays I feel like I am indistinguishable from my past.
I want to swim away from this feeling but I never learned how—
I have reinvented myself over and over again
But the grey dewy sky follows me around like a bird who wandered from its nest.
This is not normal.
I don’t feel like I am supposed to feel.
I need to learn to swim.
-Amba
9. Forgetful.
Somedays I forget myself—
My memories sigh in indignation
Because they know anytime from now they’ll be gone forever
Just like others before them.
What’s the point of creating memories
If I never get to keep them with me forever.
-Amba
10. Shower Songs.
I am making up songs in my head
I am the song.
Some verses rhyme, others contradict.
But this is my song so it is allowed to be this way.
Dancing with two left feet, I jump out of the freeway into the alley.
There’s a puddle of water in front of me;
Splash, splash, splash, I go as I belt out this made-up jargon.
It sounds like a shower song sang in my shower voice.
My soul stirs as the song takes up root inside me
So days after I am still singing, singing, singing away.
-Amba
11. The Girl On The Balcony.
Today I stood on the balcony as I have done one too many times
Usually, all I see are trees touching the sky,
Creating a contrast I’ve grown very fond of.
But today I saw something different.
I saw a painting I didn’t know this usual view could create
And it ignited a spark in me.
I couldn’t put it into words so I let my eyes do the talking.
All I know is this: tomorrow, I have a date on the balcony with nature and her pleasant aesthetics.
-Amba
12. California Sun.
The sun looked bloody like a kid colored it with crayons.
A cool fog hung over a misty yellow-painted sky.
The expectant expression of the evening was approaching.
I could tell from the way the sky and the sun blended,
Providing colors that did not suit the day.
The heat in my eyes matched the heat in the atmosphere.
Somewhere around the corner, trees were going up in flames.
An inevitable tide was washing over this city.
Nature should have a stain on her conscience,
For the way she gives and takes without consulting anyone.
It is up to us to control the chaos.
-Amba
13. A kiss And A Dance.
He noticed how beautiful she was;
How she took over a room when she walked in.
A woman of simple tastes—
Who let her vulnerability also be her strength.
He was indeed charmed.
It took all his will power not to walk up to her and say:
Let our first kiss be the dance you have with me.
-Amba
14. Roots.
You have taken up roots inside me—
Growing tall and unexpected;
I want to preserve this feeling;
Water it, make it blossom.
You’ve taken up space inside me—
The rent here is affordable;
Just love me the right way.
-Amba
15. Salty Water.
This is the moment that no other moment could prepare her for, the inevitability of the coming storm. Tears filled up her eyes with diamonds as she stood on the banks of Jordan like a lost child. She felt the little breeze of the smooth sea taunting her. For a while, he had her completely and she couldn’t believe it. She had an ungovernable desire for him but she wouldn’t admit it. Still, she took a chance, riding the waves with him wherever it took her. Not long after she surrendered, the other shoe dropped. He had her completely then he let her go. Legend has it that she still stands by the banks of Jordan. Her eyes which once shone like candlelight are now buried underneath the continuous downpour of salty water.
-Amba
16. Possessed.
I will the thoughts of you away,
But they hover on the outskirts of my mind.
Every night before bed, they creep back in.
And like a woman possessed,
I spend my nights tossing and turning,
Wishing you were here.
-Amba
17. Try, Try, Try.
We haven’t finished trying;
We want to run but we are here;
This is hope clinging to the smallest rocks;
Like a slash of yellow diamonds in the desert.
You are intrinsic to my being;
Don’t stop trying to love me.
-Amba
18. Fries And Tears.
I am in the mood for ice cream and a good cry;
Also in the mood to read poetry and eat some fries.
-Amba
19. Fight.
All she had ever known was the macabre,
It walked with her and slept beside her at night.
Its dark tide roared within her and threatened to consume her alive.
She knew it by name–it’s torrent all too consuming.
She wanted to run and hide, instead, she faced her demons.
She didn’t know if she would win but one thing was certain
She was not going down without a fight.
-Amba
20. A Lover’s Secret.
I will write you into this journal, where I keep my secrets,
To immortalize the memories we shared.
So long after you’re gone, and the stars may have fallen,
I’ll look back at my words now faded, but still here,
Alive as the day it was written and think fondly of you.
You are and will always be a living, breathing, part of me.
-Amba
The End.
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