Tinder

Forgive me father for I messed around and caught feelings. 

 I may look like a city girl but that’s a facade. Deep down, I know I am a local girl. This summer, when it came to getting some, I was down by a thousand points. Cuffing season is almost upon us and I haven’t bagged me a boo yet. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Get your tea ready, because I am about to spill mine.

I began my summer dating spree on a silly dare. My last relationship took a toll on me and I just needed a year to cool off. If you have best friends like mine, you know that city girls have no chill. After ten months of recuperating, my girls started breathing down my neck. So, I made a bet with one of my girls to meet a guy before my birthday which was the 10th of July, and make out with him. (Gotta try to keep it PG 13 around here) If I couldn’t meet up with the deadline, I had to pay $300, fly to Minnesota and date a guy she picks out for me.

Now, I do not go out on dates. All my exes fell from the sky and landed on my lap. If you’re not a book or Netflix, I probably have nothing to say or do with you. There was no way I could find a date on my own before the 10th of July because at that time, we were in the middle of June. Local girl was getting a little nervous so she had to bring in the Calvary. 

Apart from the fact that I had to step up and take charge of my dating life on a dare, it was time to stop dwelling on the past and move on. So, I turned to Tinder. Let me tell y’all, the streets are hard. Tinder isn’t for the weak minded or the fragile hearted. If you are out there trying to find love on Tinder then good luck chile, I hope you get what you’re looking for. I did not  join Tinder in search of love. like half the population on Tinder, I joined in search of a good time. A lesson I learned from Tinder is that everyone’s doing what’s best for them, no one is hiding behind a facade just to please others. People are owing up to who they are and what they are about.

I met a lot of amazing people on Tinder.  I’m not naming names but I’ll share a few of my favorite dates: 

-The late night drive to a mini airport in Nashua to watch planes land and take off. From where we sat, we could see the city lights go on for miles and miles. Truly the most magical experience. In the spirit of total transparency, I was on my period the night I went on this date. Y’all know where I am headed with this right? the skirt I wore was so tight that for some reason, I did not know I was pouring gallons of blood all over the passengers sit of this poor mans car. When he dropped me off, as I stood up, there it was, and it wasn’t the blood that Jesus shed on the cross. Ohhhh the sheer mortification of it all. I apologized about it but whelp, I understand his decision to bid me adios. Needless to say, we don’t talk anymore.

-Learning about new bands like “explosions in the sky” and “death cap for cutie”. “I will follow you into the dark” by the later has become one of my favorite songs. I think Dr. Meredith Grey would be proud of me because I got this particular guy to watch Grey’s anatomy.

-The ice cream date with a man who had eyes as blue as the ocean. He kept picking flowers for me just because. Y’all, your girl couldn’t stop smiling. I ended up bursting out my twerking moves because it was just that kind of night.

-The sangria date with the curly hair fella. I can’t make the color of his eyes up even if I tried. A mix of blue hue and yellow, he was indeed handsome. We sat in my school parking lot and listened to old school Nigerian songs. It rained that night but believe me, we brought the thunder.

-The dancer who had the kindest heart. He introduced me to his friends who were just as amazing. We took a walk with my favorite drink in hand; Smirnoff ice. We went to the beach and had a volley ball face off. We went out to try and catch some fire works which ended up being fire nots. In all, I think with him, I felt at peace.

-The “realest one” who gave me a book because I wouldn’t shut up about it. When I deleted Tinder at first, I lost him. The second time I came back to Tinder was to find him. I thought it was gonna be easy, all I had to do was swipe either left or right until his profile popped up. I lost him y’all, for real.

-Finally, the phone conversation that had me seeing stars (if you know, you know) 

I met the aromantic, the ethical polygamist, the ones who did not know what they were about, the ones who just wanted sex, the deep conversationalist, the ones who couldn’t handle “my intensity” and the ones who wanted something real. Tinder wasn’t supposed to be about having crushes and making a love connection, it was meant to be about meeting a guy, getting my freak on and moving on. It was so hard not to fall though. I mean, I met real people with real emotions. Sometimes, the connection was electric and instantaneous. I fell twice and it hurt like hell because crushes have a way of crushing you. In the end, I couldn’t deny that I had caught feelings. I ended up turning into a city girl sitting by her phone, hoping a guy she met on Tinder would text her.

As the summer began to wind down, I made a decision to delete Tinder for good. Needless to say, local girl was up by a thousand and five points because I won the bet but I got my heart tangled up in the process. Still, I’m glad it ended the way it began, with me. I wrote a collection of poems from my experiences so it wasn’t all for nothing.

As the fall is coming with a new type of color, I am doing a bit of reflection. I am grateful for all the experiences, for all the numbers that eventually got deleted and those I saved with heart warming emojis. For the friends I made along the way and the ones I’m never gonna see again.

Tinder, taught me a lot but it’s time to find my person the regular way. If you’re not a book or Netflix, I have nothing to say or do with you. So, maybe match.com? who knows….

OUTFIT DETAILS

Forever 21

Textured Square Neck Bodysuit – (black) $14.90

Plaid Knit Pants – (mustard/black) $17.99

Layered Medallion Chain Necklace – (gold) $7.99

Faux Leather Shoulder Bag – (black) $11.00

Faux Leather Ankle Boots – (black) $34.90

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