Normal people in the world meet their potential partners, and shortly after, form long-lasting bonds. But YOU never seem to escape the dreaded ‘talking stage’ of a relationship. Indeed, the enticing promise of potential can sometimes blind us to the most important truth: we can never love those who do not want to be loved by us.
It’s frustrating to feel rejected in the ‘talking stage’ by a person who gives you mixed signals. It’s alluring, even enticing, to want a person who is not available. You may be worried that you let the “maybes” and the “what-ifs” get too far. You didn’t know them long, but you planned a future in your head, one that included them. It was so vivid that sometimes you mistook their non-committal gestures as them just having a bad day. In life, you get to know a person by investing time. Time is a component of intimacy. When they say they are too busy, in reality, there’s all this free time they have that they are choosing not to give you. And when they tell you that they don’t feel like talking to “anyone,” it means you’re included. Waiting around for a potential partner to feel like talking to you in the ‘talking stage’ is a sure-fire way to get your heart in shambles. The ‘talking stage’ is the stage where people talk.
It takes two people to get to that potential relationship stage. But one person always ends up caring more and wanting more. This time, it happened to be you. Don’t feel aggravated by that. If your heart is expansive and warm, you can’t control who it likes. But your brain can rationalize it. Your brain can do the work of not letting your heart keep projecting false feelings and half-truths on a person who is showing you what they want (or don’t want) from you.
Now, you’re facing the harsh reality of impending gloom, but you’re afraid to feel sorry for yourself. You think you don’t have the right to be sad over something you thought was meant to be. If it didn’t matter, you won’t be feeling the way you do. Feeling the hurt and letting it go is a way to let a new type of energy in. I read somewhere that if you feel like an inconvenience in someone’s life, they should not be permitted to contact you at their convenience. Love does not bring confusion, it brings clarity.
Whatever drew you to them, however inexplicably rare it was, it can be found again. Acknowledge that they made you feel good because of what they briefly showed you. But it’s what they didn’t give in return for what you put in that should tell you what you need to know. You may think it’s your fault that you never leave the ‘talking stage.’ But the truth is, if they are not yours to love, it’ll never work out. You may think you need closure. But they already left you in ‘the almost relationship’, you just haven’t realized it yet. Sometimes, the only closure you need is personal and internal. Accept, let go, and let God.
Or order yourself some pizza with two extra toppings. Either way works just fine.
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